I love Halloween.
I love dressing up, scaring myself and others, and dancing until dawn with my friends and family, and hey, why not strangers?
Yet for years, I have not celebrated Halloween. No parties, no costumes, nothing. My RSVP to all of Halloweend was always NO. Why? Was it a religious decision? Not enough money? No creativity for the costume?
Nope. My reasoning was much more simple.
And here it is: Unbelievably high expectations. And the fear that I could not meet them. I would disappoint myself and others.
For example, if I was going to wear a costume, it was going to be the best friggin' costume in the room. If I was going to throw a bash, it HAD to be the party of the century. My standards for myself regarding Halloween and the traditions around it were holding me back from enjoying it or even participating. (Don't even get me started on New Year's Eve)
Unfortunately, I sometimes live my life this way. I dream really big. Then, if those dreams seem too overwhelming or too INCREDIBLE, I decide to play it safe. I don't even start taking small steps towards my goals. They are TOO scary. What if I actually find success? What will that look like? Will I be all alone? What if I get rejected? That would be awful! I wouldn't know how to keep living.
Like Halloween. In the past, I've stayed home in my pajamas because of my big dreams for the night. I'd rather do that than disappoint myself or others. My RSVP is NO.
Up Until Now.
This Halloween, Ben and I are throwing a huge PARTY! And if you are in the NYC area, please come!
This Halloween, I've picked out a FABULOUS costume, thanks to my dear intuitive friend Nick. (love ya!) And I am ready to get my SEXY on! Will the party be a success? I don't know! I DO know that I will have a blast, flowing with the energy of gratitude for all my amazing friends and the love and joy I have for get togethers. Will my costume be the best? WHO CARES? I'm just excited for my blond wig and red lipstick!
This Halloween has already taught me so much about life. Will I stay home? Feeling safe and small, but a little restless, knowing there is something more out there for me? Or will I join this amazing party that is LIFE? Dressed to the nines and ready for the magic, miracles, and okay maybe the challenges that might occur?
Absolutely! My RSVP is YES!