Friday, October 29, 2010

Life is a PARTY

I love Halloween.

I love dressing up, scaring myself and others, and dancing until dawn with my friends and family, and hey, why not strangers?

Yet for years, I have not celebrated Halloween. No parties, no costumes, nothing.  My RSVP to all of Halloweend was always NO.  Why? Was it a religious decision?  Not enough money?  No creativity for the costume?

Nope. My reasoning was much more simple.

And here it  is:  Unbelievably high expectations.  And the fear that I could not meet them.  I would disappoint myself and others.

For example, if I was going to wear a costume, it was going to be the best friggin' costume in the room.  If I was going to throw a bash, it HAD to be the party of the century.  My standards for myself regarding Halloween and the traditions around it were holding me back from enjoying it or even participating.  (Don't even get me started on New Year's Eve)

Unfortunately, I sometimes live my life this way.  I dream really big.  Then, if those dreams seem too overwhelming or too INCREDIBLE, I decide to play it safe.  I don't even start taking small steps towards my goals.  They are TOO scary.  What if I actually find success? What will that look like?  Will I be all alone?  What if I get rejected? That would be awful! I wouldn't know how to keep living. 

Like Halloween.  In the past, I've stayed home in my pajamas because of my big dreams for the night.  I'd rather do that than disappoint myself or others.  My RSVP is NO.

Up Until Now.

This Halloween, Ben and I are throwing a huge PARTY!  And if you are in the NYC area, please come!

This Halloween, I've picked out a FABULOUS costume, thanks to my dear intuitive friend Nick. (love ya!) And I am ready to get my SEXY on!  Will the party be a success? I don't know!  I DO know that I will have a blast, flowing with the energy of gratitude for all my amazing friends and the love and joy I have for get togethers.  Will my costume be the best? WHO CARES?  I'm just  excited for my blond wig and red lipstick!

This Halloween has already taught me so much about life.  Will I stay home?  Feeling safe and small, but a little restless, knowing there is something more out there for me?  Or will I join this amazing party that is LIFE?  Dressed to the nines and ready for the magic, miracles, and okay maybe the challenges that might occur?

Absolutely!  My RSVP is YES!

Friday, October 22, 2010

In Honor of Casey the Wonderdog

When we love a pet, we experience God.

My beautiful sister Sarah is taking her golden retriever Casey to the vet today.  The reason for the visit is truly somber. Casey has been fighting cancer for many months and today is the day he will cross over the Rainbow Bridge.

There are tears in my eyes as I write this, as I recall all the amazing pictures of beautiful Casey and the love and light that always emanates from his eyes.  Sarah and Casey are family to each other, so Casey is family to me.  And always will be.

Dogs have so much to teach us.  Their raw vulnerability, enthusiasm for life, and unconditional loving are deeply angelic qualities.  Dogs have not forgotten where they come from or who they truly are.  They are SUCH souls having an animal experience.

Sarah, I love you.  You are such a loving mom to Casey and so brave for making such a difficult decision full fo so much support and care.

Casey, thank you for gracing our lives with your unbelievable spirit.  Your legacy will live on in our family and beyond.  May we continue to learn and grow from from your presence with each day.

When Ben and I had to put Babicat to sleep, Sarah was the first person to write us sending so much love, and emailing us the following poem:

Just this side of heaven, is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Casey, soon "absent from our lives, but never from our hearts".  We lift your life to the sky today, and we are forever grateful for your time on this Earth.  We love you.

When we love a pet, we experience God.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Is it too Late for your Dreams?

Is it too late for me?

I went to my first Acting Workshop this weekend and it knocked my socks off. I was Home.  I was with my tribe.  I was moved to tears by how passionately I yearned to discover all the nuances and strategies around acting.  I described myself to the class as the Prodigal Daughter of Performing, trying to get back into the family, to come home.

My Inner Critic was there too. 

You’re 29.  How can you get started now? You missed the boat girlfriend. Too late for you. Haven’t you seen all your gray hair lately? You are past your prime. Who would want to work with you?

Okay Inner Critc, I hear you. I am no Selena Gomez to be sure, but I have my own song to sing…there will be parts for me, opportunities, and times to shine in my own way. I believe it.  I know it. 

Is it too late for me?

I’ve been a singer since I could talk, a dancer since I could walk.  Even when I wasn’t officially “pursuing” performing, I was public speaking for my business, singing in choirs, and definitely creating comedy sketches with friends, family, and even strangers (sometimes without their permission)

Is it too late for me?

It is never too late to remember the song in my heart, the music that only I have been entrusted to share with the world.  As a kid I knew my Calling, yet through adulthood, began to forget.

Up until Now.

Is it too late for me?

It is NEVER too late for any of us share our authentic truth, the music only we can hear.

It is never too late for any of us to come Home.

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