The Blame Game



Ten minutes ago I was walking home on this beautiful fall day in NYC in a rather common state of utter bliss and appreciation for the fact that I, Cora Poage, live in friggin Manhattan!!! I was practically skipping because I had just experienced a fabulous work out, was drinking a beet/carrot/apple/ and ginger juice, and had been reading the most awesome book ever, The Way of Being by Carl Rogers. I was on Cloud Nine.



When I reached my door, a gentleman was sitting on the stairs, directly in my path. As I walked closer, I noticed that there was plenty of room for me to get by. No problem. So I sidestepped around this "roadblock", and shifted my two self-help books, large juice, wallet, cell phone, and two Lara Bars into my right hand so I could scramble for my keys with my left...and I dropped them...(Imagine that...lol)



Cora's first thought: "Why is this guy sitting here?? If he wasn't sitting here I wouldn't have dropped my keys and had to bend down and pick them up, risking losing EVERYTHING I was carrying. The nerve of him!"



Cora's Next Thought: "OMG! How easy it is for us to blame someone else! Here I am trying to carry more objects than a Hertz Moving Van, and I blame it on this poor bloke sitting on one stair, who even scooted of my way. (sorta)"



I like taking responsibility for things I perceive as good. For example, today, I take full responsibility for remembering to feed the kittens, returning client calls and emails, writing my Morning Pages, and remembering self-care through an awesome work-out. I even did homework for University of Santa Monica.



However, taking responsibility for the more "negative" parts of life are a bit harder. Let me try it.



I take responsibility for dropping my keys because I was trying to carry WAY to many objects at one time. I didn't have a bag with me because I chose not to grab one when I was running out of the apartment. Hmmmm....I already feel better.



Now, I shift into radical self-forgiveness...



I forgive myself for CHOOSING to rush out and for trying to carry to much at once. I also forgive myself for blaming stair sitting John Doe who was just trying to listen to a little music.



I feel much better. Taking responsibility for where I am in life feels scary AND really good.



What I know for sure, is that the minute I started blaming someone else for my life circumstance, I felt really heavy and kinda crummy. I forgot how much I appreciate and adore my life, and started shifting into a negative place so quickly. When I practiced the acts of "taking responsibility" and "self-forgiveness" my energy pumped right back up and I felt like me again. It is a CHOICE of blame or responsibility!



No one wins the Blame Game....But I can choose not to participate!!!