Listen here folks, I'm from Kansas. We hug. It's as simple as that. We see a friend we know, a teacher from years past, heck, the postman, and we share a quick embrace. There's nothing sexual, odd, or even that personal about it. In Kansas, a hug is the way to say hello.
So what the heck is this kissing on the cheek business that defines the social etiquette of New York City? I am so confused. Do I kiss you on one cheek or both? Are there certain people I kiss on the cheek and others I don't? I assume I don't kiss the postman. And do I go for the right side or the left, because BELIEVE ME, if I choose the wrong side, I may just lay a wet one on your lips.
And then there's the whole business of what to do with the rest of my body. It seems to me like we try very hard not to let any other part of our bodies touch except a quick cheek to cheek. Really there is no lip to cheek contact at all. It's like these fake kisses we blow to the wind. For this Kansas girl, it seems rather strange and a bit sad.
I remember meeting some of Ben's co-workers for the first time (male) and having them kiss me on the cheek. I looked at Ben like, "Babe, you do realize you work with a bunch of pervs!" Or the time my new boss in Connecticut (male) greeted me at a School Cocktail Hour with this whole cheek kissing business. I almost filed for Employer Sexual Harassment, and he was just practicing proper Greenwich etiquette.
Today, I met my Scene Study partner in the park. I've met him once before. He is a nice guy, but I don't know him well. When we left starbucks after our first meeting, he gave me a hug. So I assumed that was our hello and goodbye language.
He assumed otherwise. (These crazy New Yorkers) I went in for the hug and he kissed me on the cheek. So we were caught in one of those terribly awkward kiss and hugs that feels a bit too intimate for two almost-strangers.
The awkwardness was palpable and I proceeded to blabber on about nothing of particular relevance to anything. Sigh.
When we parted ways, our language was synchronized. A quick kiss on the cheeks and brief hug. A New York City Cowgirl Kansan Combo. And it worked out just great.
Yet, I can't help but remember the good 'ol days back in Kansas. When it was simple. Life was simple, folks were simple, and when I saw a good friend, we would melt into a hello hug. None of this kissing business. That was saved for Friday nights at the Swinging Bridge Park and awkward dates at the Drive-In. (Okay, there was no Drive In, but it seemed to fit so well into my Kansas small town setting)
Do I need to move on? Accept that I am now a New Yorker? Kiss my friends on the cheek? I will try, I will give it a go...but if the cowgirl in me comes out every now and again and wraps you in one big Midwestern embrace, maybe just maybe, you can find your inner Kansan and embrace the simple life with me.
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1 comment:
You're post makes me smile! I LOVE IT!
And, I think you're soooo right about the difference between a hello and a goodbye exchange! The Hello's are soooo much harder! There is something about that time spent together that causes my body to synchronize with my friends, allowing the goodbye embrace to be just right!
Or, perhaps, as kids we had it right. The sceret handshake is the way to go! Perfect for any occasion! :)
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