Coming Home to my Dream

We all had one when we were little.  You know, that feeling of aliveness buried in our hearts? That spark of something beautiful to come?  Do you remember it?

I know I do!  My dream.  My dream of performing.

From the time I could speak, I sang.  From the time I could walk, I danced.  From the time I could persuade, I talked folks into watching me perform.  Some of my childhood highlights included amazing Dolly Parton impersonations (balloons under my t-shirt), Karaoke versions of Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton (tears in everyone's eyes),  and an enthusiastic portrayal of Dolly in Hello Dolly in high-school.

After high-school, I still performed, but it was with less gusto.   I received a part in the One Acts in college where some guy had to shave my legs on stage, a kind of foreplay.  Strange and a bit awkward.  I sang in choir and even played the Queen in the Madrigal Feast.  I soon dated the King.  Score.  Yet, I started to doubt my gifts and dream.  Surrounded by people who were pursuing performing for "real", I felt like I couldn't keep up.

I compared myself to others.  I didn't feel as pretty as Cori or as talented as JR.  I started to hide my gifts.  I became a Political Science major, took a job at the Boys and Girls Club, and became President of practically every organization at Whittier College to keep incredibly busy.  I was running away from my true dream.

I thought my dream of performing had abandoned me, but really I CHOSE not to see it anymore.

The amazing thing is, our dreams don't leave us.  If they are Divinely inspired, and for the highest good of all concerned, our dreams, like true soulmates, are waiting expectantly for us to come home to them.  To embrace them, and fully surrender to our Divine birthrights as Dreamers AND Doers.

Two weeks ago, this little girl from Kansas attended my FIRST NYC theater audition!  It was thrilling. The day of the audition, I was writing in my journal.  I wrote:

"Oh my goodness.  I'm really doing this.  I am finally doing this..."

And the words voice to me:

"You were born to do this."

Duly noted.

“Great dreams contain inexhaustible truths, and orient us like runes, to our futures.  One hesitates to explain them; one wants to dance them, act them out in living gestures. the more we put ourselves into a great dream, the more we get  back.  Great dreams are wells that never run dry.”-Michael Grosso

And my future now includes my first NYC theater PERFORMANCE, August 11-13, at the Manhattan Summer Repertory Theater Festival.  

I was born to do this.  

Embracing my true dream, I have come home.