What is the Point Ms. Poage?

I just found this piece of writing from 1/12/2005. I wrote this while I was teaching First Grade at Waterside School.  (http://www.watersideschool.org) I decided to re-print...

This year we were very excited to watch one of our first graders, Alyssa, move up to Second Grade after Christmas Break.  She had been held back this year, but by mid-semester she was ready to join her previous class!

We made the announcement to the First Graders on the last day of school before Break.  We explained that she would be right across the hall and the students would see her often.   Most of our class were enthused for Alyssa, and some were a bit confused.

As we prepared the party and the cake, Nahmie, another student, grabbed me by the hand and said, "I need to talk to you Ms. Poage and I need to talk to you out HERE."  She led me out of the classroom and into the hallway, where we sat down at two small chairs.

"Ms. Poage," Nahmie began. "Where is Alyssa going?"

I explained the situation again.

"Why?" she asked.

"At the beginning of the year, we decided that Alyssa had more to learn from First Grade, and we had more to learn from her, so she stayed with us.  But now she is ready to join the Second Graders!  Isn't that wonderful?"

Thinking Nahmie was confused about the situation, or maybe even envious that Alyssa was moving up I tried to explain the situation logically.


"Do you understand?"  I looked into her eyes, which still looked weary. "You will have a chance for Second Grade also."

Suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she threw her arms around me.  Then, she looked straight in MY eyes.  "That is not the point Ms. Poage.  The point is that she is my best friend in the class and I am going to miss her."

That is not the point Ms. Poage. Those words live in my heart and mind to this day. Nahmie, at six years old, could see right through my rational response, and chose to open my eyes to what really mattered.  She wasn't jealous of Alyssa, or even confused.  Nahmie's heart was broken.  She loved Alyssa, and Alyssa was leaving.

How much we can learn from the heart of a child.  That is not the point, Ms. Poage, she said, when the world and society can tell us the opposite, emphasizing competition and at times, apathy towards others.

"What is the point then Nahmie?"  I wanted to ask. I wanted to know, because at 23, I feel like I have forgotten.

But I hugged her, I loved her, and I learned from her...my wise six year old.  And maybe, just maybe, THAT is the point.