Cat Wings and Babicat's Soul

When I was a child, one of my favorite books was called Cat Wings. I don't remember much about it, but I do know that the main characters were felines who were born with wings. The main characters always felt "different" and put up with much teasing. However, their mother tried to remind them that they were beautiful, wonderful, just the way they were meant to be. This book has been on my mind quite often, these past few days.

On Thursday, Ben and I made the decision to put Babicat, our 15 year old shelter cat, to sleep. We were caught off guard with her Cancer diagnosis. We had witnessed her physical deteriation in the last week or so, but told ourselves it was the flu.

I would like to say that I was brave and strong for her in the Veterinarian's Office, that I held her as they gave gave her the lethal dose of whatever it is they give her. Instead, I was useless, and bawling, and trying so hard to escape from my own pain.

I DID have one hand on her beautiful body and one hand holding onto Ben's when she passed. Babicat was the brave one. She laid down on the examination table and looked up at me with this peaceful acceptance. Babicat purred all the way to the end...

With reflection, I do live in a place of utter gratitude for the time in my life that included Babicat. She was an amazing feline who truly connected with humans on a soul level. She ran to the door whenever one of us walked into the apartment, eager to give and receive love. (or Purina)

Babicat also taught me a lesson that probably saved my life. She taught me, the perpetual people-pleaser/doer/performer how to RELAX. I learned that it was perfectly fine to spend hours staring out the window, batting at pigeons. (The neighbors thought it slightly strange) To rest when needed, eat when hungry, and when LOVE appeared, to absolutely melt into it.

She showed me how to breathe in rhythm with my heart. Babicat told me, through her own behavior, that I AM ENOUGH. (even without the rushing, doing, achieving) Babicat helped give me a kind of peace I knew existed, but had not yet embraced.

And what else could I do when my darling Babicat needed my support more than ever? What else could I do to show gratitude to my friend, my teacher than give her the Peace that she needed. To give her body permission to let go.

Her Soul permission to fly?

So Cat Wings, the book, is on my mind right now. In my heart, whenever I remember Babicat, she definitely has wings, two beautiful, white, angelic wings. She paws at the pigeons, purrs when she loves, and tells me every day that I am enough.